They've Got Spies on the Inside!
I bloody told you! The FBI and the Ecuadorians are in it together, watching my every move. I can’t even get one off the wrist without them checking out the ol’ flesh drive - bunch of bloody perverts. You know, if Don wants tips on how to screw porn stars without having to make hush payments, he only needs to ask.
But guess what - I’ve got them beat. That’s right, I’m no fool, I’ve seen Speed. All I’ve got to do is rig up a camera loop of me penning my poetry to Pamela and they’ll never know it’s me who hacked into Don’s Twitter account all those years ago. Hahahahahahaha, I’m a genius! See ya suckersssss.