The Hug Heard Around the World

What a joy it was yesterday to have a couple of visitors. I’m not even mad they were German – anything to not have to talk to my cat, Catstro. He has become severely depressed since his Twitter account was taken away and our conversation has turned very one sided. He used to love a fiery debate about SQL versus JavaScript, but now I can’t even get him to express an opinion about Python. And he’s completely stopped emptying his litter tray, which is causing great consternation among the Ecua-not-so-dorables-anymore.

But back to the Germans. I’m so impressed with what Heike Hänsel and Sevim Gretel have grown up to be – powerful, compassionate politicians. They were great company! And neither of them tried to eat the Embassy walls, which is great, because I’ve been saving those for a special New Year’s Eve dinner. That hug at the end was just exquisite. I felt like a crumbed schnitzel between two salty pretzels. It went for exactly 7 minutes and 43 seconds, which I understand is a new World Record (my bad for not getting Guinness in to officiate – I won’t make that mistake again). I would have gone longer, but I was concerned my skin would start to peel from too much contact. Also, the yelling started to get a little painful on my ears when Heike started to pull me away from Sevim, just as I was settling in and starting to gnaw on her gingerbread shoulder. I understand Heike’s jealousy and I forgive her, but if only she would have listened, she’d have known I would have been happy to gnaw on her shoulder, too.

Other than that, it was a lovely day. If anyone else is interested in coming for a visit, my door is always open. Just don’t expect Catstro to say anything profound.

Alex Parkinson